We all have different reasons why we choose to become an entrepreneur. For me it was to have more free time and choices, to be with my family, to be able to set my own income goals, and to follow my dream.
When you’re a mom, either stay at home or you have a day job, there are a few things to consider since being a mommy takes up most of your free time ideally. You can always spend more time working at your business but you can never replace the moments you missed out on in your child’s life.
The excitement of embarking on a new venture can easily turn to burnout. You can feel things getting out of control, a lack of progress, or the feeling that you’re not spending enough time on your business or with your kids.
Guilt is always the #1 topic that moms bring up in my coaching practice and I deal with in my life. I started my business when my son was 7 while I was also working full time.
I’m sharing some tips that I learned on my own path to help you to create balance in your life without feeling regret and guilt:
What is Most Important for you Right Now?
Setting your priorities straight will save you a lot of regrets and guilt along your path. You should be on that list as well, somewhere at the top; and I know as mothers we usually put ourselves last, but to have high and positive energy level is very important to effectively handle all the tasks that needs to get done. Allow enough time for you to sleep, exercise, eat, and relax. Put your priorities in order. This will keep you focused on what is important. Even go as far as prioritizing your state of mind, like what is more important, the feeling of making progress or me staying calm and focused?
What can you get help with in your business and in your home?
A house keeper or a babysitter can give you more hours a week to work on your business, even if you don’t have a lot of money to spend on Later, having help in your business can free you from tasks that you don’t like to do.
Plan, Based on Your Priorities
Be realistic about how many hours a day you can spend on your business and schedule it. If it is 2 hours a day, that is great! Two hours of focused attention is a lot more productive than multitasking or stressing over little things all day. The best way is to schedule your work hours when you have someone with you in the house so you won’t be interrupted, like at night when your husband is there and your kids can spend some special time with daddy.
Avoid “Shiny Object Syndrome”
I fell for this when I first started my business, signed up for every free course and webinar I came across, in fear of missing out. Those courses or similar ones are going to always be there so don’t waste your time on things that you don’t need now. Focus on where you are now in your business. If you’re a beginner, get your website and other basics in place, once that is done focus on growth.
It is so important for moms.
We have so many things to take care of, and many of them won’t go according to plan, so let it go or reschedule.
with your kids, just like you focus time on your business.
A nursing baby wants to look into your eyes, so enjoy nursing or playing with your kids and put your phone down. Kids are watching your example of being present and absorbing your energy. When you’re stressed and impatient your kids can feel it, as 93% of our communication is non-verbal. They might not understand the reason for your frustration, but they can feel it.
Pay attention to your kids’ needs and wants otherwise you will end up with a cranky baby or a child that makes you cranky and nothing gets done. Kids at a young age don’t know empathy; they’re in a total egocentric state. It doesn’t mean they try to be manipulative or mean, this is just their developmental stage. If they need you they will get your attention in either a positive or negative way. In order to fill their love and attention cups, schedule play times throughout the day when you can give them your undivided attention. Spending time with your kids is so precious; money cannot buy you back this time. When you starting to feel frustrated remind yourself that a few extra minutes won’t make a difference to you, but it is huge for them.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others
Entrepreneurs can easily fall into a trap of comparing, I certainly did – and still do – from time to time. I have to remind myself that others might have different priorities, or more help, more time, more money and a lot of them have been in business for much longer than I have. Instead of thinking, “I can’t compete with her!” say, “What can I learn from her?” You’re special; nobody has the exact mix of experience and knowledge that you do.
Change Your Expectations
According to Dr. Dan Gilbert, “Expectations are happiness killers.” Change your expectations to thoughts of appreciation because once you have an external expectation you put yourself under stress until you get it. All you have control over is you, your thoughts, actions an feelings and that is all you need.
Parenting offers a great opportunity for personal growth, to rediscover your true passions and have a different perspective on the meaning of life. By exploring your passions and making things happen in your business you teach your kids the lessons of entrepreneurship and what it takes to follow your dreams. Have fun with it!